Forgeting to Exhale

There was a season of my life when I wrote these words in my journal:

“I am always in constant survival mode. The feeling of never fully exhaling because I’m always bracing for the next wave before the current one even settles.”

Reading those words today takes me right back there. Maybe you’ve been there too. Not necessarily because life is falling apart today, but because it has fallen apart so many times before that your heart no longer knows how to relax.

You become so accustomed to crisis that peace almost feels unfamiliar. Your phone rings, and your stomach tightens. Someone says, “Can I talk to you?” and your mind immediately prepares for bad news. A text goes unanswered a little longer than usual, and your thoughts begin filling in the blanks.

You aren’t living in the current moment anymore. You’re living in anticipation of the next storm.

It’s exhausting.

People often ask why healing takes so long after trauma. This is one of the reasons.

The wounds may have closed, but your nervous system still remembers. Your mind has learned that staying alert feels safer than resting. Even when the danger has passed, your body is still standing guard.

I remember a friend gently reminding me that healing often looks messy before breakthrough comes. She compared it to the final stages of labor.

At the time, I thought…That’s exactly it. Labor is painful. Everything stretches. Everything feels like more than you can bear. You wonder if you can keep going.

But something incredible is happening beneath the surface. What feels like breaking apart is actually making room for new life.

I think many of us expect healing to be peaceful.

Soft music.

Quiet mornings.

Gentle progress.

But often, healing is anything but quiet. Sometimes it hurts before it helps. Sometimes it feels like you’re moving backward when you’re actually moving forward. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t surviving the storm…It’s convincing your heart that the storm is finally over.

If that’s where you are today, I want you to know something. You don’t have to feel guilty because your healing isn’t happening as quickly as someone else’s.

Trauma leaves fingerprints.

Healing does too.

Both take time.

But neither gets the final word.

One day you’ll notice something beautiful.

You’ll laugh without forcing it.

You’ll make plans without expecting them to fall apart.

You’ll answer the phone without fear.

You’ll sleep through the night.

And one ordinary day, you’ll realize…You finally exhaled.

Not because life became perfect, but because your soul finally believed it was safe to rest.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” – Isaiah 40:29

If today feels like the final stages of labor, don’t mistake the pain for the end of your story. Sometimes what feels like everything is falling apart, is actually God making room for something you’ve never experienced before.

Keep breathing. The breakthrough may be closer than you think.