As for me and my house

It’s ok to be that parent.

The parent who looks at what culture is celebrating and says, “No. Not for my family.” The parent who questions what everyone else seems to accept without question. The parent who isn’t willing to hand over the hearts and minds of their children simply because something has become culturally popular, politically convenient, socially acceptable, or algorithmically unavoidable.

Somewhere along the way, parents started getting the message that conviction is intolerance. That boundaries are harmful. That questioning what our children are being taught makes us difficult. That if culture changes the definition of something, we’re expected to change ours right along with it. That loving people means agreeing with everything they believe.

It doesn’t. And I think it’s time we stop apologizing for knowing the difference.

Not everything culture calls normal deserves a seat at your family’s table. You are allowed to decide what enters your home. You are allowed to turn off the television. You are allowed to shut down the news. You are allowed to question what your children are being taught. You are allowed to say no to entertainment that contradicts what you are trying to build. You are allowed to reject political talking points that don’t align with your convictions. You are allowed to tell your children, “I know everyone else may be doing this, but we aren’t.” And you are allowed to do all of that without submitting a permission slip to the internet.

Because here’s what we need to understand:

Someone is going to disciple our children. If we don’t intentionally do it, there is an entire world waiting to volunteer for the position. Culture is discipling them. Politics is discipling them. Schools influence them. Entertainment influences them. Their friends influence them. Influencers influence them. And perhaps more than almost anything else today, algorithms are quietly learning exactly what will keep their attention, and feeding them more of it.

Our children are being formed every single day. So the question was never whether they would be influenced. The question is who we are giving permission to influence them most. And maybe parents need to remember something: You are still the parent.

Not TikTok.

Not Instagram.

Not a politician.

Not a celebrity.

Not an influencer.

Not a news anchor.

Not whatever happens to be trending this week.

You.

Parenting was never supposed to mean keeping our children comfortable enough that they never disagree with us. Sometimes parenting means being the unpopular voice in the room. Sometimes it means saying no when every other parent said yes. Sometimes it means having conversations our children don’t want to have. Sometimes it means allowing them to be frustrated with a boundary they don’t yet understand. Sometimes it means standing firmly enough in what we believe that our children know there are some things we simply will not negotiate.

That’s not hatred. That’s not fear. That’s parenting. And Christian parents, especially, need to stop believing that standing for truth somehow prevents us from loving people well. Jesus never asked us to choose between truth and love. We can raise children who treat people with dignity without teaching them that every idea is equally true. We can teach compassion without abandoning conviction. We can teach kindness without surrendering discernment. We can teach our children to sit across the table from someone who believes completely differently than they do and still treat that person with respect.

That’s actually what conviction should look like. Because if our beliefs only survive when everyone around us agrees with us, they weren’t convictions. They were conveniences.

There’s another side to this that we cannot ignore either. It isn’t enough to complain about culture. It isn’t enough to rage against politics. It isn’t enough to yell about schools, social media, Hollywood, or whatever happens to be making headlines today. Because we can spend so much time fighting against what we don’t want shaping our children that we forget to intentionally build what we do want shaping them.

Turning off the noise is only the beginning. We have to replace it with something better.

Replace scrolling with conversation.

Replace outrage with wisdom.

Replace fear with discernment.

Replace constant consumption with connection.

Put the phones down.

Eat dinner together.

Know your kids.

Know their friends.

Ask uncomfortable questions.

Let them ask uncomfortable questions back.

Teach them how to think, not merely what to think.

Open the Bible.

Pray together.

Worship together.

Serve somebody together.

Let your children watch you apologize when you’re wrong.

Let them see you forgive.

Let them see you stand up for someone who cannot stand up for themselves.

Let them watch you live the faith you keep telling them matters.

Because ultimately, our children don’t need parents who are simply excellent at identifying everything wrong with the world. They need parents who are showing them what is worth living for.

Culture will always have something to preach. Politics will always have something to demand. The news will always have something to fear. Social media will always have something we supposedly need, and the world will continue getting louder.

Let it.

We don’t have to compete with the volume. We just have to know whose voice we’re listening to.

So yes, I’m ok being that parent. I’m ok saying no. I’m ok drawing boundaries. I’m ok questioning the narrative. I’m oka being called old-fashioned, overprotective, intolerant, difficult, or whatever word happens to be fashionable for people who refuse to move every time culture moves the line. My responsibility isn’t to make sure my family keeps up with culture. My responsibility is to make sure we don’t lose what matters while trying to.

Culture can tell its story.

Politics can tell its story.

The internet can tell its story.

But they don’t get unrestricted access to mine.

So…As for me and my house?

We’ll keep turning down the noise. We’ll keep coming back to truth. We’ll keep choosing conviction and compassion. We’ll keep valuing what matters most. And we’ll keep refocusing our lives on the glory of God’s story.